I have been thinking about parenting. My children are now adults. Well, as close to as possible, with the youngest only 6 months away from being 18. They're both exceptional. Funny, smart, they work hard, they're kind, they are strong and they have a strong sense of social justice. I am proud of my part in their upbringing and prouder of them managing to get over the shittiest parts of my parenting. As I get older, I see what made a difference and what didn't, where I wasted energy and where I was right to remind them to push a little harder in their own life. This is also based on watching other kids and their families and the ones who have taken refuge in our house away from their dickhead parents. I have had several children here, so I get it. I've had to try and reason with mothers who don't understand why their child is suicidal because of their appalling parenting. I've had to go to court for another as their advocate. I've fostered one because the parent refused to stop drinking and kick the abusive boyfriend out. I've had 2am calls from a desperate kids who have made bad choices and need an adult to help. I have done pickups from parks at 4am for drunk teenage girls, I've pulled kids from fights. Told parents off for pushing so hard their kid was on the edge, ready to jump. I've sat with a kid and told him it wasn't his fault his mum killed herself after he found her body. I have taught kids how to set boundaries with their fuck-wit parents. I have listened when my own kids tell me how I can do better.
So, here is my list for do's and don't in raising kids.