Skip to main content

How To Not Be A Dickhead Parent

I have been thinking about parenting. My children are now adults. Well,  as close to as possible, with the youngest only 6 months away from being 18.  They're both exceptional. Funny, smart, they work hard, they're kind, they are strong and they have a strong sense of social justice. I am proud of my part in their upbringing and prouder of them managing to get over the shittiest parts of my parenting. As I get older, I see what made a difference and what didn't,  where I wasted energy and where I was right to remind them to push a little harder in their own life. This is also based on watching other kids and their families and the ones who have taken refuge in our house away from their dickhead parents. I have had several children here, so I get it. I've had to try and reason with mothers who don't understand why their child is suicidal because of their appalling parenting. I've had to go to court for another as their advocate. I've fostered one because the parent refused to stop drinking and kick the abusive boyfriend out. I've had 2am calls from a desperate kids who have made bad choices and need an adult to help. I have done pickups from parks at 4am for drunk teenage girls, I've pulled kids from fights. Told parents off for pushing so hard their kid was on the edge, ready to jump. I've sat with a kid and told him it wasn't his fault his mum killed herself after he found her body. I have taught kids how to set boundaries with their fuck-wit parents. I have listened when my own kids tell me how I can do better.

So, here is my list for do's and don't in raising kids.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-top-10-posts-pulse-ronald-bartels/

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why Madge Networks, the token-ring company, went titsup

There I was shooting the breeze with an old mate. The conversation turned to why Madge Networks which I wrote about here went titsup. My analysis is that Madge Networks had a solution and decided to go out and find a problem. They deferred to more incorrect strategic technology choices. The truth of the matter is that when something goes titsup, its not because of one reason only, but a myriad of them all contributing to the negative consequence. There are the immediate or visual ones, which are underpinned by intermediate ones and finally after digging right down, there are the root causes. There is never a singular root cause for anything but I'll present my opinion and encourage everyone else to chip in. All of them together are more likely the reason the company went titsup. As far as technology brainfarts go there is no better example than Kodak . They invented the digital camera that killed them. However, they were so focused on milking people in their leg

Flawed "ITIL aligned"​ Incident Management

Many "ITIL aligned" service desk tools have flawed incident management. The reason is that incidents are logged with a time association and some related fields to type in some gobbledygook. The expanded incident life cycle is not enforced and as a result trending and problem management is not possible. Here is a fictitious log of an incident at PFS, a financial services company, which uses CGTSD, an “ITIL-aligned” service desk tool. Here is the log of an incident record from this system: Monday, 12 August: 09:03am (Bob, the service desk guy): Alice (customer in retail banking) phoned in. Logged an issue. Unable to assist over the phone (there goes our FCR), will escalate to second line. 09:04am (Bob, the service desk guy): Escalate the incident to Charles in second line support. 09:05am (Charles, technical support): Open incident. 09:05am (Charles, technical support): Delayed incident by 1 day. Tuesday, 13 August: 10:11am (Charles, technical support): Phoned Alice.

A checklist for troubleshooting network problems (22 things to catch)

  Assumptions! What is really wrong? Is it the network that is being blamed for something else? Fully describe and detail the issue . The mere act of writing it down, often clarifies matters. Kick the tyres and do a visual inspection. With Smartphones being readily available, take pictures. I once went to a factory where there was a problem. Upon inspection, the network equipment was covered in pigeon pooh! The chassis had rusted and the PCB boards were being affected by the stuff. No wonder there was a problem. In another example, which involved radio links. It is difficult with radio links to remotely troubleshoot alignment errors. (I can recall when a heavy storm blew some radio links out of alignment. Until we climbed onto the roof we never realised how strong the wind really was that day!) Cabling. Is the cable actually plugged in? Is it plugged into the correct location. Wear and tear on cabling can also not b