Seffrican computer terms (we'll need them after the rolling blackouts)

• Monitor - keeping an eye on the braai.
• Download - get the firewood off the bakkie.
• Hard drive - trip back home without any cold beer.
• Keyboard - where you hang the bakkie and bike keys.
• Window - what you shut when it's cold.
• Screen - what you shut in the mosquito season.
• Byte - what mosquitoes do.
• Bit - what mosquitoes did.
• Megabyte - what mosquitoes at the water hole do.
• Chip - a bar snack.
• Microchip - what's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips.
• Modem -what you did to the lawns.
• Dot Matrix - Oom Jan Matrix's wife.
• Laptop - where the cat sleeps.
• Software - plastic knives and forks you get at KFC.
• Hardware - real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers.
• Mouse - what eats the grain in the shed.
• Mainframe - what holds the shed up.
• Web - what spiders make.
• Web site - the shed (or under the verandah).
• Cursor - the old bloke that swears a lot.
• Search engine - what you do when the bakkie won't go.
• Yahoo - what you say when the bakkie does go.
• Upgrade - a steep hill.
• Server - the person at the pub what brings out the lunch.
• Mail Server - the bloke at the pub what brings out the lunch.
• User - the neighbour what keeps borrowing things.
• Network - when you have to repair your fishing net.
• Internet - complicated fish net repair method.
• Netscape - when fish maneuvers out of reach of net.
• Online - when you get the laundry hung out.
• Offline - when the pegs don't hold the washing up.