Uberfingers aka markd

1. Uberfingers does not use a keyboard. The keys just duck in fright!
2. When Uberfingers shakes Chuck Norris' hand, he screams like a girl.
3. You know where Uberfingers has been, all the door handles are ripped off.
4. When Uberfingers goes on a picnic, he provides his hands as tables.
5. Uberfingers sells his hands as advertising billboards. He is a mobile billboard when driving his car and when he waves.
6. When movers can't lift something, they call Uberfingers.
7. When Uberfingers points, people think it is a solar eclipse.
8. Uberfingers swots Sumu wrestlers like flies.
9. The only place Uberfingers can wash his hands is an Olympic-sized swimming pool.
10. The Queen hires Uberfingers to give the 21 gun salute at her birthday, which he does by clapping his hands.