Uberfingers aka markd

Uberfingers does not use a keyboard. The keys just duck in fright!
When Uberfingers shakes Chuck Norris' hand, he screams like a girl.
You know where Uberfingers has been, all the door handles are ripped off.
When Uberfingers goes on a picnic, he provides his hands as tables.
Uberfingers sells his hands as advertising billboards. He is a mobile billboard when driving his car and when he waves.
When movers can't lift something, they call Uberfingers.
When Uberfingers points, people think it is a solar eclipse.
Uberfingers swots Sumu wrestlers like flies.
The only place Uberfingers can wash his hands is an Olympic-sized swimming pool.
The Queen hires Uberfingers to give the 21 gun salute at her birthday, which he does by clapping his hands.

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